The concept of self-care may seem obvious—that taking care of ourselves is essential to well-being—yet self-care can mean different things to different people, and what we need to do for ourselves may change over time, from day to day, or even from moment to moment.
Self-care starts with two simple questions: How do I feel right now? What do I need?
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The concept of self-care may seem obvious—that taking care of ourselves is essential to well-being—yet self-care can mean different things to different people, and what we need to do for ourselves may change over time, from day to day, or even from moment to moment.
Understanding that self-care is dynamic and constantly changing helps us become skillful in bringing the practice into our lives. We can all benefit from suggestions on how to bring this concept into action.
Mindfulness—a moment-to-moment awareness of what is, in a gentle, non-judgmental way—supports self-care. Learning to observe ourselves with curiosity and compassion provides an opportunity to try something new. When those actions involve self-care, they can truly make a difference in well-being.
There are times when we know how we feel and what we need. There are times when we may be lost in a haze of busyness. We may have a sense that we’re feeling stressed or out of balance but are unable to name what needs to be done.
Although it can be tempting to power through these times, a more skillful approach is to pause for a moment and check in with yourself. Mindfulness offers a way to learn how to do this, and it’s only a breath away.
Two Simple Questions
Self-care starts with two simple questions: How do I feel right now? What do I need?
Mindfulness invites us to be aware of what’s happening outside of ourselves as we observe the environment and its impact on our senses: touch, smell, sound, sight, taste. It also invites us to be aware of what’s happening inside.
Checking in with yourself is a practice. Focus awareness on inner sensations and experiences with gentle curiosity. You can think of it as collecting data. Learning to be an anthropologist in your own life reinforces the state of being interested without being judgmental.
Since there’s no time like the present, take a mindful mini-break and check in with yourself right now. Pause and do this exercise:
Close your eyes. Take three full, gentle breaths, silently labeling the in-breath “in” and the out-breath “out.”
Then ask yourself, “How do I feel right now?” Notice what comes up. It may be a physical sensation or a feeling. It could be something you observe your mind thinking. There is no right or wrong answer.
Next, gently ask, “What do I need?” Being open to the answer is an opportunity for insight. It can create awareness to possibilities for self-care that lie underneath business, that step out of existing routines.
Self-care can become an adventure in nurturing ourselves, where we’re able to try something different. It may be a need that can be addressed immediately: “I’m thirsty.” Or, it may be a need that takes time to fully explore: “I want to make new friends.”
Related: Trending: Spa Labyrinths to Improve Mindfulness
Self-ish, Not Selfish
We begin with checking in because at the core of self-care is the understanding that you are the expert on yourself. Self-care is sometimes defined as taking time to do things that help you live well and improve your physical and mental health.
It has also been described as including a broader spectrum of opportunities to enhance well-being: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, recreational, social and environmental.
As with any life choice or habit, we may have our go-to’s, those favorite actions that we count on to improve well-being. While go-to’s are great (I personally love getting a massage), it can be helpful to expand and explore the many options that exist for self-care.
Understanding that it does not have to happen in large chunks gives us more flexibility to make choices that bring small moments of wellness into daily life. Consider the possibilities.
Physical: Walk at lunchtime. Lift weights while watching a show online. Get enough sleep. Hydrate. Moisturize your skin. Get some sunshine. Enjoy a massage. Try a new way of exercising. Take a bath.
Mental: Meditate. Take a break to zone out. Discover a new podcast. Learn something new, like painting, photography, knitting, wood carving, a new language. Listen to calming or upbeat music. Read a favorite book. Enjoy a social media detox. Practice positive thinking.
Emotional: Connect with or reach out to someone you love. Ask for help with something. Plant something. Pamper yourself with a simple pleasure, like a fancy tea or flavored coffee. Laugh. Soothe yourself with essential oils. Create something. Buy yourself flowers. Journal your feelings.
Spiritual: Read or watch something uplifting. Make a gratitude list. Step outside and feel awe in the natural world. Watch the sunrise and sunset.
Recreational: Learn a new skill. Explore a new sport. Travel near or far. Take a cooking class. Find a coloring book that delights you. Do a puzzle. Discover a different neighborhood.
Social: Volunteer. Join a walking group or online forum. Visit a local farmers market and chat with the vendors. Check out a new restaurant with friends. Have a potluck dinner with neighbors. Send a letter, email or text to a friend.
Environmental: Bring plants into your living space. Declutter areas that are creating stress for you. Move your desk close to a window for a view. Reinvent an underused space in your home. Recycle and reuse as much as possible.
The opportunity to try something different for self-care across a full spectrum of possibilities offers benefits for body, mind, spirit and more! It sparks creativity, brings new experiences to the fore and enhances resilience. It supports self-awareness and self-compassion.