Do you have those moments when you just feel down about yourself? Perhaps you have been dealing with a disappointment, or someone has unfairly criticized you. And no matter what you do, you can’t stop from feeling unworthy or rejected.
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Do you have those moments when you just feel down about yourself? Perhaps you have been dealing with a disappointment, or someone has unfairly criticized you. And no matter what you do, you can’t stop from feeling unworthy or rejected.
When we feel like this, we may not even be aware of the underlying cause. And it may be temporary. Or indeed, sometimes we may experience that feeling for long periods of time. In these cases, it may be due to a lack of self-love.
The truth is that love is an inside job. So how can we nurture self-love within ourselves? There are 5 paths to self-love, what we here at iRise call the ABCDE of Self-Love:
A - Awareness
This is having awareness of when you feel that lack of self-love. When do you feel down, unworthy or are criticizing yourself? Being aware that you are doing that is the first step, which helps to break this unhealthy pattern of thinking. Secondly, you can also become aware when you are looking for outside people and situations to “fill your cup.” You may repetitively ask, “Is this person appreciating me, is my partner showing me enough love?” Notice how often you do this.
Nothing on the outside can truly make you feel loved on the inside; it’s an illusion and won’t work. A simple awareness of this fact can help you to look inward and find the love within, rather than being pre-occupied with finding it on the outside.
B - Be Kind to Your Inner Child
So often, you create your own lack of self-love by criticizing and putting yourself down. And often that hurts your "inner child." This is part of your psyche that has not fully matured from childhood, and is still reacting as if you you're a child. Start speaking to your inner child in a loving way, just like you would speak to a child in your own life. Speak compassionately to yourself and give yourself space to be imperfect, and to feel good enough just the way you are.
C - Care in Self-Care
Often, you are so busy running around taking care of everyone else’s needs that you forget to attend to your own. Make time for and value self-care rituals, and seeing them as productive to your life. Drop everything and take that hot bath, or spend time alone to have some space.
D - Daily Practice of Meditation
The mind can be prone to thinking the worst. Having a daily practice like meditation helps to calm the mind and go inward. With a calmer mind, you are better able to navigate the ups and downs of life from a more centered, balanced place.
E - Evaluate Yourself Positively
You are an incredible human being with so many talents and gifts. You will discover more of the real you if you give yourself a break! You are as unique and precious to this planet as every snowflake. And when you recognize this and nurture this awareness within you, you feel more self-love.
You can practice this by regularly appreciating and praising yourself. This is often associated with arrogance or self-indulgence—but even these emotions come from a lack of self-love. The healthiest thing you can do is to regularly remind yourself of what an amazing human being you are, and that you have such unique talents and gifts.
And what happens when you practice these five paths to self-love? You let go of the heavy rocks you are carrying, and you feel lighter, happier and more energetic. You become more emotionally self-sufficient, and come to relationships not from a place of lack or need, but from a place of sharing.
So, each day, become more aware of when you are reacting from an insecure place and expecting others to fill you up. Speak to yourself lovingly and kindly, indulge in self-care routines, and meditate to calm the mind and gain more energy. Finally, appreciate, recognize and celebrate the incredible amazing human being you are….because if you don’t, then who else will?
Ashok Gupta is an internationally renowned Speaker, Filmmaker & Health Practitioner who has dedicated his life to supporting people through chronic illness, and achieving their potential. Ashok suffered from ME, or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, around 25 years ago when he was studying at Cambridge University. Through neurological research that he conducted, he managed to get himself 100% better. He then set up a clinic to treat others, and then published the well-known recovery program known as the Gupta Program in 2007. He published several medical papers and is continually researching these conditions, you can find out more information at www.guptaprogram.com. Ashok published a popular 4.7 star rated app called the Meaning of Life Experiment, a 30-Day program of videos and meditations to discover more happiness, meaning, and to uncover your Life Purpose. www.themeaningoflife.tv.
